HEADS IN BEDS EBOOK

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Heads in beds [electronic resource (EPUB eBook)]: a reckless memoir of hotels, hustles, and so-called Processing (CPL) - eBooks (EPUB) - Adult Non-Fiction. Read "Heads in Beds A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality" by Jacob Tomsky available from Rakuten Kobo. Sign up today and get. Heads in Beds by Jacob Tomsky .. Heads in Beds embraces the full, novelistic breadth of hotel experience . The eBooks you want at the lowest prices.


Heads In Beds Ebook

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In Heads in Beds he pulls back the curtain to expose the crazy and compelling reality of a multi-billion-dollar industry we think we know. Heads. Editorial Reviews. rialadhamssubsca.ml Review. site Best Books of the Month, November site Store · site eBooks · Biographies & Memoirs. Heads in Beds: A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality are available for instant access. view site eBook | view Audible audiobook.

Dec 14, Jaclyn Day rated it really liked it. For me, a great, light nonfiction read like this one totally makes my day. From tips about tipping to how to get the contents of the minibar for free, Tomsky leaves no stone or bed! The reason Heads in Beds works so well is because Tomsky is able to be snarky and insidery which can sometimes read as smug , but he still comes off as a genuinely likable person. View all 3 comments. This book is not what I expected.

I travel often and frequent hotels. I was hoping for some behind the scenes action and useful tips. If this is what the heart of hotels looks like then eww Essentially, what I got from this book was unless I tip exorbitantly I could expect shit service and a shit experience. I don't know about you but I'm not about to to This book is not what I expected. I don't know about you but I'm not about to toss around 10s and 20s, nevermind a "brick".

I also found the way he mimicked the vernacular of blacks, latinos, and Asians extremely offensive. I do not recommend this book. View all 14 comments. Dec 04, Diane rated it liked it Shelves: In this Age of Memoir, I guess we were due for one by a hotel clerk.

Jacob Tomsky's book focuses on his experiences working at two hotels: All names have been changed, so there's no point stating them. In his introduction, he brags that he has worked in hotels for more than a decade and that he's probably checked us in before.

Tip the front desk clerk when you first arrive. This may get you a room upgrade, free movies, a late checkout time, etc. You're welcome. He also recommends being nice to the staff -- which is generally a good policy to live by -- but in a hotel, if you manage to piss off the wrong person, you could end up with a string of annoyances, such as getting a room near a noisy elevator, getting mysterious wrong-number calls, having your key card not work, etc.

He frequently says that a hotel staff is like a family, and they will trade stories about the guests who are mean, and the ones who are nice. So always be nice! For someone who boasts that he has a philosophy degree and that he's wicked smart, he could be more philosophical in his attitude. I used to be a hotel clerk, so I could relate to some of his stories.

But there was so much padding in the memoir that this would have made a better essay in The New Yorker. It didn't need to be upgraded to a book. One of the promotional blurbs on the back cover is from Elizabeth Gilbert, who wrote: The kid writes like a dream.

Heads in Beds is hilarious, literate, canny, indignant and kind -- revealing an author who manages somehow to be both a total hustler and a complete humanitarian. I love this book. Keep an eye on this writer. I'm telling you, he's a star. Tomsky is a hustler. He even uses that word to describe himself in how he hustles for tips from guests. When I started this book, I expected to give it a 4-star rating for Tomsky's fun hotel stories.

But his arrogance and narcissism wore me down and I dropped this to 3 stars. View 1 comment. First part covers his time at a new upscale hotel in New Orleans, where the author starts as a valet parker, bonding with the largely non-white crew.

Then, he's promoted to front desk there, and we get much of t Well He saves up a lot of salary, working so many hours after being "promoted" to a housekeeping manager, that he has no social life to spend much on! So, he resigns to bum around Europe. Second part begins with his return from Europe to New York where, needing money, he takes a front office job at a faded hotel whose name still means something, although the guests seem to be mostly Priceline and business folks trying to stay within their per diems.

He bonds with the largely non-white staff yet again, which I mention as he dwells on that. Eventually, the hotel is sold to a private equity firm, which guts the place, making impressive-but-shoddy refurbishments, doubles the rates to attract the Glitterati, and fires as much existing staff as they can.

Author is union-protected so gets to stay. They keep harassing him, and writing him up to build up a termination case, yet he hangs on, out of stubbornness, and financial considerations. Other reviewers have mentioned that they wouldn't want him as an employee, and question his single-sided view of events, to which I add an "Amen! I've been an "elite" in a couple of hotel chain programs for a while now, and his antics don't match my experiences much at all.

The audiobook, which he narrates himself, highlights his coarse punkishness. Con's where to begin: Despite my harsh comments, I think his heart is in the right place, but his personality on the whole was a real turn-off. With Heads in Beds: I'm as shocked as you are, really.

While Heads in Beds is being marketed as Kitchen Confidential with a hotel slant, there's a marked difference between the two books: Anthony Bourdain is a cocky chef who also happens to know how to open a Word Doc on a PC, and thus gets his half-decent memoirs published.

Jacob Tomsky, on the other hand?

Goddamn, this kid can write. Don't believe me? Have a look for yourself. When describing his asshole manager, Tomsky writes that when his supervisor spoke, "it sounded as if his tongue were too swollen for his mouth, the words wet like a flopping fish. And if you can find me a passage anywhere that more perfectly describes the ambivalence of living in New York City, I'll download you a Coke: Hadn't I been happier there?

I was a nicer person there, right?

How come I'd even stayed this long in New York? I might have already left the city, but in a way New York put a hex on me. The gravity is so strong here, that center-of-the -world feeling, it made leaving the city unfathomable. And then there is his description of New Orleans during Mardi Gras, which is nothing short of poetry.

Hey Norton people, are you reading? Anthologize this shit already. And don't worry. Despite the good writing and many references to classical philosophy and literature and those references are correct, by the way, which in itself is surprising given that publishers crank out any old crap without bothering to check Cliff's Notes for accuracy , the book is hilarious think of me when you get to the section about Room and is bound to inspire a maniacal laugh or two.

The hotel info? Just an added bonus. All of Tomsky's tactics are likely to score you upgrades and free alcohol the next time you stay in a hotel. Hmmm, let's see Exceptionally good writing, humorous, and useful. Know what I call that?

A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality

I know. I still can't believe it. View all 8 comments. This will be short 'n sweet, since I'm typing on my ipad, and doing a road trip with a challenging meeting behind me. The author provides several good reasons why you should not stay in hotels, if you're not into bribes, extortion or abundant tips. You will regret it! My mouth hung open for most of the book. Rudeness will cost you dearly!!! Don't despair, the disgruntled desk clerk also explains in detail how to raid the minibar and get away with it.

The friendships and wacky lingo between employ This will be short 'n sweet, since I'm typing on my ipad, and doing a road trip with a challenging meeting behind me. The friendships and wacky lingo between employees was hilarious. A few tender memories balanced it all out. But really, sabotaging the business which paid their salaries was the same as cutting off your nose to spite your face and was annoying big time.

While causing financial losses, the employees unionized themselves in protecting themselves against being fired. I enjoy reading this book, since there was much to ponder and much to remember. It was really entertaining and relaxing. Worth it! Dec 03, Vegantrav rated it really liked it. Having worked as in the service industry both as a waiter and front desk agent , I had high expectations for Jacob Tomsky's memoir about life as a front desk agent at a luxury hotel.

And I was not disappointed: Tomsky's description of life in the service industry is spot on: Heads in Beds is a book about the inner workings of life in the hotel industry, but it's more than that: If you know nothing about the hotel business, you will leave this book with a good education, but you'll also learn a lot about how to treat the people who work in the service industry you might think this would be obvious, but you might also be surprised by the portion of the population composed of assholes or of people just too callous and self-centered to give a second thought to their bellmen, doormen, concierges, front desk agents, waiters, cab-drivers, etc.

Tomsky writes as if he is telling a story to his friends, which makes for very enjoyable reading, and he is a great storyteller. Dec 29, Oliver Schnusenberg rated it it was ok. I'll start with what I liked about this book. As I would say to anyone who seems angry or upset with me in this case, it seems, the author is in general pretty upset with guests , I appreciate the candor.

In the author's words, Boom! That's it. What I don't appreciate and this list is longer: No interest, thanks, though! In parts of the book, he has whole monologues about I'll start with what I liked about this book. In parts of the book, he has whole monologues about the importance of guest service. These last for about two paragraphs each and must have been written after a positive guest experience.

Then you turn the page, and the author goes on a ten-page rampage about guests, management, and anything non-union.

That really makes me want to treat you real special. Guess what, you should have been fired. Ultimately, the author states he really doesn't care if we, as guests, have a good experience.

What he cares about is the money. So why on earth would I tip you up front, taking away the incentive of making my experience better. A tip is for service performed.

Heads in Beds

In a way, this book is the ultimate hustle. View all 5 comments. Nov 29, Leslie rated it did not like it. At one point in the book Jacob Tomski states "I am a ing good writer! This book would have been great at 20 pages. Tomski's language is unnecessarily foul and he repeats the same anecdotes just in different locations.

While mildly entertaining in a few spots, the book does not deliver on the author's promise of how to work the hotel system. I'm not sure that anyone was looking for the secret to be summed up in one solution -just hand out twenty dollar bills.

Heads in Beds

He also lost credibi At one point in the book Jacob Tomski states "I am a ing good writer! He also lost credibility about how big, bad, mean and unfair hotel management is as soon as he described, at length, how he and other employees milked the system, avoided work, and sat around bored. This was a great concept for a book. It was just written by the wrong author.

Tomski is a greasy, unsympathetic character who cannot write. He only knows a handful of adjectives, and most of them are profane. By the end of the book, I wanted to fire him myself! View 2 comments. May 20, David rated it liked it Shelves: This is a fun, somewhat raunchy book about the author's experiences in the hotel business. Jacob Tomsky starts out as a valet at a luxury hotel in New Orleans. He graduates to become housekeeping manager, and then on to a front desk clerk.

Then he moves to New York City, where he continues to work at the front desk at a luxury hotel. The book is fun because of the variety of anecdotes about hotel guests and co-workers. One woman checks in for a few hours in the afternoon, several times a week. T This is a fun, somewhat raunchy book about the author's experiences in the hotel business. Tomsky realizes that the room she rents can be rented twice in the same day, and tries to refund some of her payments to her.

She refuses to accept the refunds, and Tomsky suspects that she may be a prostitute--but she probably isn't--she is just on a lavish business expense. Tomsky shows how his can-do service-oriented attitude helps customers, and earns tips for himself and his co-workers. He understands all the tricks and hustles, and shows the reader what is really going on at the check-in desk. If you want to understand how to get "something extra" as a guest at a hotel, like a room upgrade, a late check-out time, or avoid a non-show fee, then you can find the answers in this book.

There are some fun, hilarious stories mixed in with some sad stories. Tomsky sees hotel management as uncompassionate at sometimes downright ugly people who do not understand their own business.

Management often fails to understand that a clerk might go a little out of his way to brighten a guest's stay, and ultimately may have enormous pay-back to the hotel. Don't read this book for deep thoughts or insights into the hotel industry. And, this is not a "self-help" book that might guide you to selecting a good hotel.

This is an easy-reading look at how people working at a hotel think about their jobs, their customers, and life.

Jun 23, Jennifer Hummer rated it it was amazing. Forget The Bible, this is the book that should be in every drawer of every bedside table in every hotel room. Or scarfing down the entire mini-bar just before demanding a room change too smoky, too loud, too pink, whatever would get you free grub. No bag you say? Let him carry your iPhone. Your kid. But use him. Give him the crinkly handshake and your every wish will be his command.

Not only will this book make you laugh, it will make you smarter. Let the other yahoos suffer the consequences of calling the Front by their first name at check-in.

And try not to break into chokes of laughter while watching that guy march up to the desk, throw down a Ziploc bag with a small black dot in it raisin? Do, however, record it. And put it on YouTube. Were it merely fiction, this book might not be one of the most entertaining books to grace my site.

But being a memoir, it is. And the author didn't even have to slide me a baby brick to say that. Nov 21, Brendon Schrodinger rated it really liked it Shelves: This read was a bit of a gamble. Written by a employee in the hotel business it professes to tell great stories, tips on getting the best service and an insider look behind the scenes.

With many other writers this could have been quite dull, but Jacob's wit, heart and cynicism makes this a great read that does deliver on all the promises. The memoir part takes up most of the book with a chronological tale of his employment from a valet parer in a luxury hotel in the southern U.

You get to experience the differing hotel environments in each hotel he works in and see the direct effect of these styles on the staff, which of course reflects in the service of the clients.

Fiction Titles

Jacob has wonderful tales from his time in each hotel from the classy woman who only hires a New York room for 3 hours regularly, to the CEO client who stays multiple times a week and leaves a bag behind containing some interesting luggage.

So many funny and weird tales. Interspersed throughout is Jacob's advice to us, the paying public. How do you get the best service and the added perks? What the fuck is up with minibars and how do you get stuff for free from them? And why do people constantly underestimate the power of the front desk clerk? This person has complete control over your stay and if you treat them like shit, they can make your stay hell. The methods for making a client's stay not so nice are rather funny and clever, but do not worry, you probably won't get to experience these methods unless you are an asshole to the clerk, or do something nasty in their presence such as treating your wife, girlfriend or especially kids like crap in front of the clerk.

This book is a wonderful and fun read, with the added advantage of being educational on what happens behind the scenes in the hotel industry and how you can make the most out of your next stay at a hotel.

View all 6 comments. Oct 29, Birgit rated it it was ok. Not only have I got a soft spot for behind-the-scenes looks, I also love traveling which, more often than not, involves staying at a hotel. Needless to say Heads in Beds by Jacob Tomsky went straight onto my list of books I really wanted to read.

The thing is that books like these are usually written by wanna-be authors who, with any luck, have a bit of talent up their sleeves, plus a proficient editor, which may then result in an enjoyable, insightful and fun read.

Sadly, this isn't the case her Not only have I got a soft spot for behind-the-scenes looks, I also love traveling which, more often than not, involves staying at a hotel.

Sadly, this isn't the case here. The combination of a startling overuse of the F-word - 56 times in various combinations, preferably using the word "mother" as prefix - and suggestions to weary travelers that all seem to revolve around lying to the people at the front desk so as not having to pay for this or that, leaves only little room for maybe one or two actually interesting observations.

All this "revelatory" book gives insight to is the mind of an annoyingly prepotent employee who apparently dislikes his job and thus felt like yammering about it in the form of this book whereas, in my humble opinion, the better choice as an outlet for dishing the dirt would have been, plain and simple, a blog. Of course those not easily offended by certain crude expressions might find this book quite entertaining and a breezy read, though I have to say it certainly didn't work for me.

In short: Little insights, lots of swearing! Sep 12, Angela rated it it was ok Shelves: I admit it: They make me remember past jobs that I was glad to leave behind, and make me grateful that I'm not walking a mile in the author's shoes. I don't expect the books to Pulitzer-worthy, nor do I want them to be. I want to sit back, glad that I'm only reading about a particularly nightmarish job and not experiencing it. I want to revel in insider dirt, be outraged by patron behavior, and deliciously scandalized by staff retaliations.

H I admit it: Hardly - and that's the point. Having said that, Heads in Beds still felt Tomsky alludes to a few celebrity encounters, and shares a few eyebrow-raising stories of hotel-revenge. But the bulk of the book is devoted to explaining why you should tip everyone in the industry, and how you can get anything you want if you grease the right palm. Not much insider info, not much STORY, really; just restating again and again that you should pay money upfront for an upgraded experience.

And that? Well, that gets a bit repetitive after a couple of hundred pages.

It felt to me like Heads in Beds could have been shortened to a really juicy, really great chapter in an anthology, or an extended magazine article. There just wasn't enough to justify an entire book. Mar 25, Diane Barnes rated it really liked it.

I have a confession to make; I really, really, really enjoyed this book. I wasn't expecting to like it quite so much, I picked it up as a filler between reading some heavier fiction just to see what it was. Yes, as expected, I read the gossipy anecdotes about what goes on with the guests, got the scoop on what to do and, most especially, what not to do to insure good service. But what I also got, and was not expecting, was some very fine writing from a man who tried to maintain some humanity and I have a confession to make; I really, really, really enjoyed this book.

But what I also got, and was not expecting, was some very fine writing from a man who tried to maintain some humanity and common sense while surrounded by insolent guests, psychotic managers and crazy co-workers. Yes, I know, this describes every job for anyone working with the public. I learned two very important things from this book: And 2: NEVER make a doorman or bellman mad, or stiff them a tip. They WILL get you. You will be guaranteed to be amused and educated by this book.

Highly recommended for anyone ever planning to stay in a hotel, or for anyone who just wants a witty, well written biographical account from a first rate author. Oct 06, Karen rated it it was ok. The narratives were written in varying accents from Cajun Louisiana to Japanese to hip-hop vernacular. If you are amused by snarky invectives then you will like this book. I just thought it kept hammering the same ideas over and over again.

I actually got it because it claimed to offer insider tips on getting upgrades and better service. Instead of anything meaningful, the author suggests that lying is the way to go.

Stuff your face at the mini-bar, watch porn and then Deny! The reas The narratives were written in varying accents from Cajun Louisiana to Japanese to hip-hop vernacular. The reason being those things don't cost the hotel much so they are more willing to waive the fees rather than argue.

That isn't much of a tip I just wasn't very impressed with the purported "stories" or the insider tricks for upgrades and freebies.

Save your money and tip the housekeeper: Mar 04, Anthony rated it it was ok. In life more than a few things have caught attention and fascinated me. Some of the great questions I have pondered include: How are roads made? How did they make that big tall building? How does a stay in the air? Have people always confused Taiwan and Thailand? And …. Is the cheery helpful hotel staff person as enamored with the hotel experience as I am?

Tomsky would answer me with a resounding — no.

In fact, he did his best in Heads in Beds to take whatever glamour and gilt I and man In life more than a few things have caught attention and fascinated me. In fact, he did his best in Heads in Beds to take whatever glamour and gilt I and many others have attributed to our hotel going experience and brings us to a reality where the service and specialness we all feel is merely a financial transaction. But I kept reading — wanting more.

In the end I received nothing perhaps I should have tipped the author? No witty insights on the other side of the reception desk. That could have been provided in a magazine article and I am sure it has. May 25, Leslie Cole's idea of witty must be way different from mine. May 24, Aug 08, Mediaman rated it did not like it. His job is dull, his stories are simplistic, his anger-fueled anti-guest attitude gets him fired, and his perspective in the book is one of preaching at those of us that pay too much money on how we should treat him, not on how his industry should improve to treat us.

It's hard to believe this book got published--there's nothing interesting in it. It might not even have enough material for a magazine article. And it's very poorly written. He keeps harping at the terrible guests who actually want to carry their own luggage or be put in the room they reserved! If this were simply a travel book of the news-you-can-use ilk, it would be of only minor interest. But Mr. Tomsky turns out to be an effervescent writer, with enough snark to make his stories sharp-edged but without the self-promoting smugness that sinks so many memoirs Heads in Beds embraces the full, novelistic breadth of hotel experience It's the sort of equivalent of WebMD for hypochondriacs: You know you're learning way more than is good for you, but you just can't stop reading.

Tomsky, who may be an even better writer than a hotelier and he's a damn good hotelier has worked every job and every shift; he takes us into the bowels sometimes literally of the hotel business, with all the pomp and circumstance, the hidden filth, and the fears and aspirations and secrets of guests and staff alike.

His sharp-witted, candid new book, Heads in Beds, demystifies the world of high-end hospitality Coarse, smart and wickedly funny, the author delivers hilarious caricatures of the hotel guests and colleagues he has encountered over the years Tightly written and laced with delicious insider tips.

Free movies.

Late checkouts. Jacob Tomsky promises readers the keys to the hotel industry kingdom in his tell-all book, Heads in Beds. The one-time philosophy major has spent more than a decade working in the industry and, like room service, he delivers the goods Beyond tips, Tomsky has packed his book with outrageous anecdotes about guests Tomsky has only worked at hotels in New Orleans and New York, so readers may wonder if his tips will work anywhere else.

The kid writes like a dream. Heads in Beds is hilarious, literate, canny, indignant and kind—revealing an author who manages somehow to be both a total hustler and a complete humanitarian. I love this book. Keep an eye on this writer.Not content with dispensing advice on how to get a better room or avoiding the vengeful wrath of bellhops, maids, doormen, and front-desk clerks, Tomsky also spins a touching yarn on how he kept his dignity and humanity intact while dealing with insufferable guests, Expedia wannabes, predatory hotel managers, conniving coworkers, and the occasional pervert.

Stephanie Clifford. The title should be at least 4 characters long. In Heads in Beds he pulls back the curtain to expose the crazy and compelling reality of a multi-billion-dollar industry we think we know. Though technically a memoir, this is more a compendium of hair-whitening bar stories that punch you in the throat until your eyes explode.